i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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