My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
