o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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