He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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