So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
