awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
