i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
