So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
