it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
