doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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