Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
