Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
