if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
