I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize