Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
