i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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