My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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