I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
