Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
