Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
