I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I love having hate sex.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
that is very illegal...i love you.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize