You're so nebulous sometimes
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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