just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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