We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
