Me too!
one might say we're banned from that church
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize