Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
