oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
