Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
