i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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