In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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