There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
