Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
