But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize