i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Please don't give away my fajitas
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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