morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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