Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
