Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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