Porn is love you can see.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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