420 ftw
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
