Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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