you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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