Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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