I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
