Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize