paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
