I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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