I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
