So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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