Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
