Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
