this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
