I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
