My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
