Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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