I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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