Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
