So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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