So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
