Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
