so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
