The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Can I color on your dick again?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Randomize
